Updated: Jul 3, 2019
I was standing in the lounge in the hot mess around me, looking like a hot mess myself, pasta bubbling over and the shattered look of hopelessness written all over my face while trying to get the children to come get ready for dinner.
I had my mother in law over for the afternoon who looked at me and said "Pick your battles".
Pick my battles? I silently thought to myself, excuse me, you look quite comfy sitting there in my hot mess what do you know about picking your battles or raising 3 kids?
That night I got into bed still taken aback by the comment I had received that day rather than the lack of physical help.
And there it was again (seems like a common occurrence in my life) the beam of light came shining down on me! She's right! but what exactly does this mean.
Picking your battles is the solution to saving your soul, it can be the 5 minute time out that rescues your nerves for the approaching witching hours, it can save the bad mood you're in from staying up late all night to catch up on all OhSh MoM's blogs (-:, "it's the fuc*k it what ever moments" that you accept and let pass.
The catch to these moments is that you can never let your family morals and beliefs be jeopardized by these, when we talk about family beliefs we refer to for instance..... manners, you have taken so long to instill, a routine such as having to sit at the table at all meal times!
and for heavens sake as long as "whatever" they are doing that you have done the quick 5 second mom room safety check and nothing can cause dire damage to them.
Picking your battles has to be done on the sly, the kids shouldn't even notice them happening, and if they do they will just think that they have the coolest mom ever for allowing them to mess the lounge cushions, without you popping a vein while demanding they put the couch back together again.! AND BEFORE DAD COMES HOME!!
What ever you can do around you to conserve your soul, I don't say energy because like really? who has that anyway, besides my 6 year old son that wont go to bed before 9pm, wakes up at 6:30am and still doesn't crash the whole day.
Let's look at a few examples of situations that fall into category PICK YOUR BATTLES:
1. Let's take the image you see up there, the kids (note the cushions are bigger than my two year old, but he instigated that just as much as his older brother did) have taken all the cushions off my Coricraft couch and formed a fort, i think it was suppose to be a "Housey", but landed up being a jumping pile.
That situation happened while I had my best friend over for a coffee on an extremely rare occasion so I wanted to lap up as much catch up time with her as I could.
- The kids were having fun
- The couch cushions weren't going to break in a hurry
- There were no harmful objects or sharp corners around them
and I got to enjoy a great catch up with my friend without having to cut her off at every sentence or yell till my face turned into a red lolly pop.
2. LEGOOOOOOooooooooooooo as much as I love the man who invented Lego because it keeps the children so entertained and is great for fine motor skills, creative thinking and problem solving, TRUST me I will love the next man that invents the best way to pick up the hundreds of teeny tiny pieces even more.
I have tried an tested this MoM's and you know what it's just not worth it! do not pick up the lego pieces every hour just to keep the house clean, because you WILL be picking up that lego every hour. LEAVE IT! fuc*k it just leave it! take your big toe and push the little pieces that are in your path, slightly out the way and carry on walking.
You will drive yourself crazy attempting to pick up the lego every time a piece falls on the floor, LEGO is supposed to be thrown into a big box and the kids are supposed to scratch around for the blocks they are looking for, thats part of the fun!
For you, not so fun..... but at the end of the day, just before dinner or bath time, when everyone is getting ready to settle, take a dustpan, scoop the lego into the dustpan and throw it back into the box! If your lego is colour coded, have a "for later" box that you can sit and re-sort one day in the near or distant future.
I can go on and on about picking your battles but then this will turn into a book and not a blog, so just a break down MoM: Picking your battles is going to save you! it's not about letting the children get a way with murder or breaking your rules and boundaries, it's picking the moments that wont matter that much if they go "un noticed" or "missed" The time to save your energy, your voice box and the next headache pill.
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Just Being MoM